I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
40s are totally the cure
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
