Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
