smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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