i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The adults are the big ones right?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
