He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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