No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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