Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
