May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
