So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
