I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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