Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
