ya dads aren't the best wingmen
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
