i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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