I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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