would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
