so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
