with your own penis?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
