no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize