I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
