i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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