false alarm. still invincible.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
