How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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