He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
