High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
