I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
