Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
