You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
