I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
