the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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