so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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