So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
