All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
