tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
