So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize