why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
