is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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