you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize