I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize