my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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