It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
