Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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