You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
