Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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