Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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