no you cant smoke seaweed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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