I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
