No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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