Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
