..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
