Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
