I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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