Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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