So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
