Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE