so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.