He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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