maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
love makes seman taste better
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
