So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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