I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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