i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
