i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
