need another drink. this is the easiest way
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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